Yes, I Say "Yes" Quite a Bit.

Just realized that while reading previous posts. The tendency seems to increase in proportion to how riled up I am.

I'm learning how important rest is (yet again) and am trying to shake off this cough by taking a break when my body tells me to - even if I am sad about missing practices. Seems to be working! Energy levels are on the upswing again. 

Going to make myself lie in bed now, but wanted to gush about who I got to meet this weekend: Margaret Atwood!! At the Festival of Ideas this year, Alanis Morissette and Margaret Atwood were brought together to chat onstage at the Winspear. It was fun to watch ... Especially since Ms. Atwood is one of my favourite authors. 

Even in her seventies she is vibrant and lovely and eloquent and full of wit. And a wearer of hot pink. AND promoting her latest novel (the third in the Oryx and Crake trilogy). My copy of MaddAddam is now signed and I can't wait to read it!

Okay gushing over. Bedtime!!

Just Saw 12 Years a Slave.

I was so unsettled that I had to stop eating during the movie.  I kept thinking that it was based on a true story, which kept me going through vicious cycles of awe, fury, pity and disgust.   

The performances were powerful and the scenes chilling and unforgettable.  Down to the sheer discomfort during the scenes where whites become sickeningly inhumane and psychotic in their treatment of slaves.  It is mind-blowing that there were people who actually thought this was normal and idealistic.  When I watch movies like this or read books like this ... I am reminded of why I will never be okay with using the "N-word."  Yes, words have power.  And this one carries behind it one of the worst faces of mankind in its history.  Of course black people have the right to own it and do what they want with it.  Yes, I like songs that happen to contain the word.  But no one else should be messing with that word today.  No one.  It just feels innately wrong!  I remember once being around a Filipina and a white girl who used the N-word as a term of endearment with black athletes (yes, they were groupies) and I cringed so bad I wanted to erase the memory forever (fail).  Plus I was especially (and instantly) embarrassed because of the Filipina girl.  Ugh I'm cringing right now. 

But I digress. 

There is no one big theme or message in the film.  There is no Hollywood emotional manipulation.  Instead you get a sense of the comings and goings of days, nights, hours, minutes ... in this mundane nightmare that is a slave's life.  One female slave in particular - Patsey - broke my heart (Just googled and it was captivating actress Lupita Nyong’o).  She was in the worst lose-lose situation.  There is no safe haven when the master wants you and hates himself and you for it.  And then of course his wife just plain hates you. 

So difficult to understand and believe that this evil existed not that long ago on this continent.  But it did, and this movie makes it so real it's scary.  Steve McQueen did an amazing job directing this.  The lead part, a free man who got kidnapped into slavery, was played by Chiwetel Eljiofor and he definitely mesmerized.  I smell Oscars :)

Again, I broke my rule and I didn't read the book before the movie, but I do plan to read Solomon Northup's memoir now. 

And I just discovered that the memoir is available for free online :)

 
Mind Farts
-Canada now fast tracking visa applications to help out Haiyan victims :)
-i remember racist white kids calling me "[N-word] Lips" in elementary (yes, kids were that racist even in elementary school. thankfully Edmonton's more diverse and multicultural now).  as an immigrant kid, that was my sad introduction to this stupid word.  so yeah, white people using it = not cool
-having full lips is not a problem nowadays
-another kid's parents called me a derogatory word for Aboriginal people.  seriously, what was wrong with the neighbourhood I grew up in?  it's bad enough that people didn't care enough to get my ethnicity right ... but even adults slamming a 10-year old with racial slurs - really?

-my kids will definitely be going to a ethnically diverse elementary school.  mandatory!  as you can tell, this movie got me all fired up

Richard Pulga.

This young man caught my eye when his interview popped up in the New York Times.  While trying to save his house, a coconut smashed into his leg.  His main worries during the interview revolved around the well-being and survival of his wife and kids.  He, a farmer, was their breadwinner.  Despite being injured, you can tell from the photograph that he was a healthy and handsome man prior to the typhoon.  While reading the article, I remember feeling a surge of hope that he would make it even though a doctor was pretty much dismissing the case, saying that the prognosis was poor.

Even if it was only a broken leg.

Unfortunately, the doctor was right.  Nutrients and antibiotics did not make it to Mr. Pulga soon enough and he very recently just passed away from infection.  Probably in intense pain, since painkillers apparently didn't make it to him either.

Now his biggest fears have been realized and his family is without a breadwinner.  What's even worse is that after the picture of his body next to his wife was taken, his body was unable to be found.  Most likely, it was taken to a mass grave.

R.I.P.  Mr. Pulga.. and all the others who have had to suffer unimaginably or leave this world because of problems with logistics and what's looking more and more like a Philippine government that is not able to properly take on the immense task of getting the victims food, water and medical help in a timely manner.  I know, I know ... this is an issue that can bring on debates for days.  I myself haven't been to the Philippines since 2004 plus I lack the knowledge to make a detailed and thorough judgement.  My first impression however is to side with Anderson Cooper on this one.  The government was not able to get on its feet fast enough.  Reading the comments proved how much Filipinos (both local and abroad) agree.  The public personalities that are pissed at the "negative" coverage need to face the painful reality and DO something about it instead of whine about being portrayed in a bad light.     

Life and death - days apart.  Photos from the New York Times

I can't even complain about all the snow that's falling in Edmonton right now.  How lucky am I that I can work, dance and eat when I please?   And that my family and friends are safe?  I'm one effing lucky bugger. 

Mind Farts
-thank you Shaw for making Filipino channels free during this time.  the news updates were brutally heartbreaking, but so important
-this obsession with the typhoon has brought about the realization that i need to be more connected with my country of birth.  i need to read more, understand more.  i mean, i love to read and how many Filipino novelists have i even read recently?  zilch. nada. zero.
-the realization may also have started to awaken in Hawaii, where i saw so many Filipino faces and saw the intertwining and similarities going on between Hawaiian and Filipino culture
-speaking of culture - i have a thing for first/second generation immigrants with stories to tell.  i love comparing notes about the awkwardness and difficulties of trying to adjust to North American life as a child.  just read Mindy Kaling's memoir and found it delightful and hilarious
-more laughter courtesy of Toronto mayor Rob Ford - how is he still in office?.  wow, just wow. i don't have any words

Leyte.

I can't stop thinking about the devastation of Typhoon Haiyan.  I know that it's the hot news topic of the moment.  I know that most of those around me are donating and concerned.   

There is still such an overwhelming sense of helplessness when I check news updates.  I have huge urges to help, and I'm almost ashamed that the only way I know how help is to donate money.  If I was a doctor or some kind of logistics expert then I could fly over there and contribute face-to-face.

Otherwise I'd just be yet another mouth to feed and yet another body to house, clothe and protect.  

Really though, I should just feel extremely fortunate that I can donate from the comfort and safety of my own home.

But I see the Filipino faces on the news and I can't help but think about my family.  If I was trying to save them and failed ... if I had to search for them amidst the destruction.  It hurts to even begin to fathom it.

I was told that my ancestors on my mother's side came from the province of Leyte (where the completely demolished Tacloban is).  The story is that they migrated down to Mindanao and cleared the land and founded Unidad, where my mom was born and raised.  She grew up by the sea, and slept in a hut and lived off the land.

So yeah, parts of my DNA come from Leyte.  If those ancestors decided to stay put, maybe there'd be a different version of me there somewhere.  Hungry and surrounded by death and destruction.

Maybe this extra connection is an extra contributor to my urges to keep checking for news about this tragic disaster.  And scrolling down to the bottom of the articles and reading the comments.  Over 90% of the comments are heartwarming and filled with empathy and goodwill, but there are those few that I absolutely cannot relate to.  The ones that justify the suffering based on the corruption in the Philippine government.

Guess what morons, it's a freaking Third World country.  What the hell do you think makes it Third World?  We all know that the government could use a lot of work.  But that doesn't mean you have to ignore the thousands who are in dire need.  If anything, this makes them even MORE helpless.   

Have a heart.  Seriously.

Dollar for Dollar.

The Canadian government will match you dollar for dollar if you donate to a registered charity to help out the victims of Typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda.  Thank you Canadian government.

Thankfully my family there is safe. Some property damage, but at least they are safe.

Thousands were not so lucky.

Help if you can.

That and Rememberance Day is on my mind today. Thanks to those who have served and sacrificed and continue to do so. 

I'm at work today, but it doesn't mean I won't take a moment to remember and give thanks.

Update: Canada is sending a DART team out to the Philippines even before an official request is made :)

More reason to be grateful to those who serve.  Doesn't have to be wartime.

[Insert Swoon Here] I Love Son.

Not "son" child,

but "son" music.  "Son" the traditional old-school dance.  Fedoras.  Smoky clubs.  Elegant suits.  Soft dresses.

I didn't realize it would ever come in handy!  I love learning choreography to it.

Totally takes me back to Cuba :)

two-three-FOUR ... six-seven-EIGHT ...  I'm gonna sleep with that rhythm in my head tonight :)

Now let's see if I can figure out how to fix a leaky faucet spout ... yikes.  Maybe a big strong handyperson can help me ;)

Back to Reality...

Back from yet another beautiful outdoor wedding.  Sunflowers, golds, yellows, oranges, trees.. everything was so pretty and autumnal.  Unfortunately for the first time ever, my phone completely shut down and I have no pictures of the event :(  A Filipino sin!!!

So no pictures to prove it, but I did have a blast.  Way more drinking than expected (pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding) and I made new fun friends in different area codes.  Majority of whom, by the way, were lefties!  And artsy.  I have to say ... as much as I get teased about how "strange" it is that I'm not doing the baby-mama with a house thing yet ...

... it is kind of nice to be able to freely go and party with the single folks on the fly :)   

On the flip side, my cousins have the most adorable daughters.  I had a blast hanging out with them as well.  There's nothing like going for a nature walk with chocolate wine in hand, slightly buzzed, while surrounded by a cluster of energetic and hilarious little girls that love to play and have a ton of imagination.  Insects and plants become a fun new world of discovery: "Auntie Angel you're the BEST!! We LOVE this nature walk!"  That, along with the buzz, made me real warm and fuzzy inside.

Aunt and Uncle are doing well.  Cousins are doing well.  Cousins' kids are doing well (even the newlyweds' little one, a preemie, is looking healthy - complete with a killer smile).  Houston distant relatives are doing well.  It's nice to see my Texan relatives happy and in good health.  If only plane tickets were cheaper!  Or the distances shorter.  

Now it's back to my local grind: the almost wholly bi-coloured pie-chart that's 40% work and 40% dance with maybe 20% social and personal time.  I have officially been given more responsibility at work, which will let me practice some leadership'ing.  And there will be no leaving Edmonton until it's salsa competition time in Miami - which is a tad mind-boggling when I think about it too much!  My vacation days will be in the negative, but thankfully my boss and my company have some flexibility there.  Plus I foresee a lot of overtime hours next year to make up for it.

Mind Farts
-i might have several personality doppelgangers.  this is maybe the fourth time that someone has told me that i remind them of their quirky Filipina best friend :)  or maybe this is a goofy Filipina genetic thing?
-Texan shots must be doubly strong.  either that or being vegan also means getting drunk faster
-rest really is important.  i was scared all these days off would affect my ability to keep up with practices, but my body actually feels refreshed from the break
-a measly 3 months of maternity leave is a horrible American joke
-humble pie.  try some.  step one: genuinely listen to people.  you'll find out where they have come from and what they have gone through.  one of the guys i met this most recent trip showed me the neighbourhood where he grew up.  i thought he was joking about the ghetto.  he wasn't.  another one of the guys survived freaking chemo and now does martial arts on the side
-want to cover your butt?  stay organized.  or at the very least keep verbal agreements documented and dated.  it's saved my ass countless times.  countless!

-stereotypical but still true: a man that is handy = hot
-seriously.  why can't i go to bed before midnight?  fail, Angel, fail.
-i'm going to try sleeping in a weird frog position tonight to improve my center splits (a tip from my dance teacher after class tonight)