Scratched Eyeballs and a Doggy Daddy.

Discovery: 60 hour weeks in an office + contact lenses = very scratched eyeballs.  Guess who had to wear her old glasses for over a week so that her corneas could heal?

That being said, it felt healthier letting my eyeballs breathe for a while and it was a good chance to *finally* order an updated pair of glasses.  My prescription is so bad that I couldn't even get the 1 hour service for new glasses.  It's more like 10 days minimum for me.  Add in the Christmas/New Year holiday season factor and I probably will not get my new glasses until 2015.  C'est la vie!

With most of my December consumed by work, it was a welcome break to enjoy time with loved ones over the holidays.  Boxing Day came with a special surprise.  A few evenings ago a gentle blond giant of a man proposed to me in front of the giant Christmas tree at the legislature grounds.  So I walked away from the prettily-lit grounds with Hachi and a brand new fiancé!  I know right?  Shit just got real.  My theory?  A good doggy daddy has great potential to be a good baby daddy.  Plus, he's pretty good to me too.  If you trust and respect someone's intellect, integrity, abilities AND he/she makes you laugh AND is kind AND you are still physically attracted to her/him after a good while ... then hey, it's kind of a solid formula.

A little sparkle helps a bit - not that a huge rock is the be-all or end-all.  Not-at-all.  If anything, it was a nice surprise that someone who is not so much into flash and glam was actually concerned about getting me something "sparkly" enough :)  And yay, it doesn't rub against my engineering ring!

Soooo yeah.. there's some absorbing and deciding and compromising to be done over the next year.  I'm definitely not one of those knowing women with a ton of set wedding specifics and preferences in their heads.    Fortunately I have many girlfriends who have been there and done that - there is a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips.  Between them and the interwebs, I should be okay.

But that can be put off for 2015.  In the meantime, I continue to enjoy this much-needed break.  My sis and I saw two consecutive amazing movies in a row about two amazing minds - the Imitation Game (Alan Turing) and the Theory of Everything (Stephen Hawking).  I smell Oscar nominations for the lead actors.  Beautiful beautiful beautiful portrayals.  Big Hero 6 was great too.  Plus there's been Harry Potter marathons on TV (thanks Space Channel!).  

Mind Farts
-my crack cocaine is vegan ginger beef - i bring it to Christmas dinners just so i can partake in the eating of it
-i'm enjoying these 'UK white boys' who have managed to conjure up such soulful voices - hello Sam Smith and Hozier
-still not gonna be able to do this for a while:

ankle is still wonky and not much increased mobility in my spinning big toe.  there's enough on my plate right now anyway.  i can't get upset - first world problems
-i saw a documentary on genocide survivors on the Smithsonian channel and i just felt so sick and angry about what they had to endure ... such technological advances we've had but why can't people grasp the concept of empathy in this day and age?
-i'm currently reading Malala's biography and it makes me think of the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls :(  it's been so long and they still haven't been found

-a little closer to home: Rinelle Harper's horrific rape and attempted murder (how do humans rape a fellow human, throw her in a river and then try to kill her *again* after she tries to crawl out of the river on a winter night?) and the little 6 year old Aboriginal girl that was raped and also beaten nearly to death and then also left naked in the freezing cold to die.  i will never understand.  sometimes i wonder if women should be made to carry some kind of protection (pepper spray?) in order to even out the physical strength imbalance between the genders.  i would hand out bazookas in certain parts of the world

Sari #1

So I finally was fully dressed in a sari and jewelry to go to my first Hindu wedding. It was beautiful! I didn't understand 90% of it, but it was great seeing how adorable the bride and groom were as they endured mini fumbles with ancient rituals and how respectful they were to culture and family.

The wedding was yesterday morning and I was back in the office by the afternoon. And I kept the sari on for the rest of the workday, only changing out of it so I could eat and go to yoga class in the evening.  I didn't mind having to explain over and over to coworkers why I was dressed so beautifully :) 

Saris are godessy yet comfortable (even when you sit on a temple floor). I'm excited I get to wear another one to the wedding reception tomorrow!

Okay back to work, where I kinda wish I could clone myself.  So much to do! Even with extra hours put in, it's still like I'm barely staying afloat.  I just felt like taking a breather and reminiscing about my sari day yesterday :)  

I think it might be time to work weekends.  Another bonus to not dancing all the time!

R.I.P. Soldier.

When I heard that a soldier was gunned down in Ottawa, I felt a wave of sadness and anger at the senselessness of it all.  It got worse when I saw pictures like this (photos from the Canadian Press):

Just seeing how much these dogs adore their fallen owner broke my heart and made me want to learn more.  The more I learned about Nathan Cirillo (I even creeped his Instagram), the more tragic his death became.  Indeed, a lovely man: a typical Canadian guy and also an extremely gentle giant.  Into fitness, the military and taking adorable selfies but also a single dad and rescuer of strays.  Most of his pics are dog-related and his profile oozes with his love for his dogs and his son.

May your soul rest in peace Mr. Cirillo, and may your son grow up loved and knowing how great his dad was.  May your dogs stay loved and cared for despite eternally waiting for you to get home. 

As for the gunman, who at first glance seems like an overprivileged shithead with no purpose in this world, I feel sorry for his parents.  From the news, it seems like his mother and father were successful and caring folks who did not intend to raise their son to be the cause of so much pain and horror.

Excuse Me ...

... While I pretend I am a Bollywood Princess.

I love saris!  The deep, bold colours ... the intricate beading and embroidery ... the timelessness of the cut and draping ...
And now I finally get to wear one to a wedding between my friends - a Fijian and a Sri Lankan :)
Thankfully I have a coworker who has many beautiful saris (and is willing to lend me one as well as drape me) and this is one I picked out to wear.
I excite! (c) Borat 

Hello, Fall Weather.

Edmonton doesn't get a bunch of rain. A lot of sun, a lot of snow.. But rain not so much. So it's quite noticeable to Edmontonians when it's gloomy and wet. On gloomy chilly days like this week's, I feel an extra surge of protectiveness towards Hachi, because I imagine him in his days as a stray in the Nordegg woods. All alone and cold, wet and starving :(

Not anymore :)

Mind Farts

-I'm noticing feminism fails even by men who were otherwise ahead of their times.  Jose Rizal ... yogis back in the day ... inventors ... "geniuses" ... Is the concept of your mother/sister/spouse/female friend as a fellow human being *that* hard to grasp?  Come on now people

-Iyengar is pronounced "eye-yen-gar" and I am loving being a complete beginner at something again. I think I was made to be an eternal student

-On CBC radio, I listened to a clip from the dash cam of an American cop shooting a black man on his way to work who just happened to be gassing up his car. Absolutely chilling. What really made me sick was how the victim had to be polite and apologetic even under the horrific circumstances.  I'm sure he was afraid of being shot even more times or even worse, being blamed for the incident. You just knew he was raised to be wary of white cops.  Unfortunately the warnings were legitimate in this case. Thank God for dash cams 

-I cut potatoes and tomatoes with a handcrafted Japanese knife for the first time at the Springhammer movie release afterparty. Wow, I actually got tingles doing it. I've always heard Japanese knives were amazing but I didn't realize what all the hype was about until I tried one! You can actually feel the knife grip the vegetable/fruit before the blade slides through 

-Currently enjoying Stromae's music and its blends of sounds I relish - hip hop, house, electro, 90's R&B, African rhythms.  Plus each song is refreshingly different, which gives me multiple eargasms.  If only I didn't have to translate the lyrics (which, by the way are not mysoginistic or arrogant at all). Makes me wish I did French immersion in school

Dip of Shame.

I'm dumb for not realizing that honey isn't vegan. Finally googled it - of course while currently on a huge honey mustard kick - and realized my vegan fail. A huge sorry to all the squished and homeless bees as casualties of this yellow addiction of mine.   I even bought mini Tupperware containers just so I could keep dipping at work.

As soon as I finish all the honey mustard at my place, I am not buying anymore. I'll make my own using agave syrup if I have to!  

Hello Yoga, Nice to Meet You.

We've flirted and danced around each other but now let's talk!

Officially registered for a semester at the Iyengar (how do you pronounce that?) yoga studio near my office. 

Acro-yoga and Pilates have given me tastes of yoga but now I can really learn some pure technique and poses :) Now is my chance. Boo-yah!

Lucky Me.

I still have an open door to train and perform once I am healed.  Without pressure, and despite my abrupt sabbatical.  The dance director is good to me.

On that pleasant note, here is Hachi trying to keep his eyes open in the car today post-daycare.  Faiiillll.

Let the healing begin.

Some Shedding.

I received a harsh reality check as a result of this past weekend, where I danced all night in heels at a wedding.  I am now not quite able to point my right foot or relevé without pain.  I'm not even walking right.  And it's already Tuesday!  My frustration has led me to realize that I am not healing from my dance injuries at all.  My foot is actually getting worse.  This has resulted in me deciding to leave the Afro Cuban dance team indefinitely.

Now for inspirational quote time:

I don't want to be in pain and I don't want to be injured.

I want to be strong and balanced and frolicking.  There are other ways of doing this aside from dance so I can heal properly.  Enter acro-yoga, Pilates, kettlebells or even just good ol' yoga and bodyweight training.  Things have to change.  I want to be able to rock heels and dress up without physically paying for it later.

As a silver-lining hunter, I still see a positive side to all of this.  I have realized that I will not turn into a crackhead over being away from dance for a while. This frustration must be channeled productively.  And who knows, maybe as I heal I will become a better dancer in the future because of my focus on being injury-free.

It helps that I've been having a good time during my dance sabbatical.  Having a social life and not running on adrenaline all the time is relaxing.  Even my boss noticed that I am calmer nowadays.

And let's not forget a wonderful little energy-consumer of mine:  Hachi.  He's at doggy daycare today while I'm in the office :)  I know he will be happy and spent when I pick him up.  Here's how he looked after his first day at doggy daycare:

He could not even keep his eyes open during the car ride home!  I'm excited to pick the little guy up.

Anyway, I just needed to record that little milestone in my life.  Back to lunch and logic drawings ...

National Dog Day Was Last Week.

The above photo is Hachi's "Happy National Dog Day" Instagram post.  Look at how many Instagram photos I have taken of him already.  I can't help it - I'm a proud dog momma!

So far Hachi

• still doesn't bark much (I'm not complaining!) - could this be Akita blood?
• can sit, lie down, shake hands
• doesn't try to leave with me anymore when I leave for work
• is able to go off-leash at the dog park now

And such a gentle friendly disposition!  He has coaxed smiles out of many fellow dog-owners and random folks we encounter on our walks.  There is something about a rescue dog - I think it's a sense of happy gratitude that emanates from the dog.  This is my first rescue and I am hooked.  It's a win-win situation really.  A dog-owner win: I am reminded not to work too much and to take breaks and enjoy the outdoors everyday.

Another win: being able to explore parts of Edmonton that are dog-friendly.  Remedy Cafe gets a thumbs up for their dog-friendly patio and vegan food.  I checked out the downtown Farmer's Market this weekend and I loved the hustle and bustle of  booths, people and canines.  My lunch currently consists of locally grown potatoes and tomatoes (roasted with balsamic vinegar courtesy of this recipe - yum!). 

I'm enjoying the dog parks in this city as well.  Terwillegar Park was crazy busy this long weekend.  A dog's excitement about just being able to go outside is contagious.  Hachi = spurts of joy about the simplest things.  

Especially when there is so much pain and suffering out there: the Nigerian schoolgirls are still prisoners, hostages, senseless cruelty and killings, poaching of elephants, disappearing First Nations women ... 

It's like Ebola is the only hot-topic misery that wasn't started by stupid humans.

We need to take some notes from our four-legged furry friends.  Aside from the butt-sniffing practices of course.

Mind Farts
-more and more veggie options are popping up around the city!  had a delicious Vietnamese veggie sub at MKT of all places
-mmm ... ginger beer
-i discovered dulse seaweed this weekend.  i used it to make vegan bagoong.  bagoong is one of the few things i miss from my seafood days ... ohhhh that fermented shrimpy fishy taste that i love so much.  dulse may help me out with this craving 

-still can't dance in heels because of the ankle.  but i can't say i've been feeling deprived or sad about it :)  you know that saying "don't put your all of your eggs in one basket?"  i'm like an Easter egg hunt - eggs all over the place
-*finally* read Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere.  even though there are old fashioned attitudes in the novel especially about women (creamy white neck and demure = wifey material), i still got a fascinating look at the Philippines in the 1800s.  man, the Spaniards were such absolute dicks to the native Filipinos.  just horrific.  even poor Mr. Rizal was shot for this exposé :( 

Eid Mubarak!

There is a significant Muslim contingent in the office. Which has resulted in desserts in the lunchroom to celebrate the end of Ramadan - no more fasting!

The evil stomach issues have settled down quite a bit, so my attempts at stress reduction have been fruitful. 

More free time has resulted in being able to care for Hachi and also being able to take the time to think over life in general and what I want to do with things like my womanhood. It's kind of like I just woke up and realized I'm in my thirties.  Even though I feel the same if not more energy compared to my twenties - I just don't do as many careless things. Yay for frontal lobe development!

Pleasantly, Smilingly, Nonapologetically.

So I didn't get a call about my blood and poo samples and after a couple of weeks I went to go see my doctor (turns out you can't just call and get results over the phone).

Nothing.

No parasites (thank the Lord!).  No parasite eggs.  No parasite cysts.  No E.coli.  No salmonella.  No pathogenic bacteria.

Nothing!

My levels are all healthy.

And I'm *still* having stomach episodes.  As recently as a couple of days ago.

Mention of this strange situation to friends has led me to the conclusion that this is very possibly the result of stress.  I know it's not like I'm openly freaking out and getting anxiety attacks or anything, but my stomach is definitely trying to tell me something.  Consciously I feel fine, but my autonomic nervous system debates that.

So I had to slice off something in my life - the salsa team.  It made the most sense, considering my ankle is not getting better and gets quite angry at high-heeled shoes these days.  Even just normal dress-up non-dancing ones.  Not okay.  Salsa dancing is wonderful, but even more so is being pain-free and stomach-strong.  At least I had a blast at the Las Vegas Salsa Congress with them.  My last congress as part of that team.

It's quite the change, but it will allow other things into my life.  I can still be physical without jumping around in heels.  Pilates, kettlebells, yoga of many forms ... I'll never run out.  Plus I'm still going to stay with the Afro-Cuban team (barefoot activity = strong feet). It's all gotta be trial and error.  And if my body keeps acting up, then I'll just have to re-evaluate my life and slice off more "stress" and add in more "happy."

Like finally going to the magical Okanagan for a best friend's baby shower (just moments before this pic, I was spewing my guts out at the beach washroom - eep).  Kudos to my lipstick for staying on.

Wineries are so soothing.  Why didn't I do them more when I used to live in the Okanagan?  I've never bought so much wine at once.  I'm really digging the fruit ("fruit" meaning non-grape) wines - I bought crab apple (white) and cherry (red) along with the more traditional stuff.

Or enjoying more social non-dance events like the first ever Diner en Blanc in Edmonton.  With my beautiful harem. 

  It rained like mad, but we survived the wet chill and enjoyed all the elegance.

And of course, hanging with Hachi :)

And being able to work late without having to rush to practices.
And just having the time to dream and think.

R.I.P. flight MH17 passengers :(

Soy Filipina.

Mexican ruins?  Yes please!  Chichen Itza is amazing.

As a Canadian, it's kind of silly that it took me this long to finally visit a country that really isn't that far. Thanks to a wedding invite, I was finally able to go.

Just like Puerto Rico, Cuba and even Miami, locals initially thought I was a Spanish speaker.  My go-to reply: "Soy Filipina.  Sorry!"

I unfortunately also may have brought back some type of bug with me.  Been having on and off stomach problems for over a whole month now :(  And I never get stomach problems this bad (or this long), especially after going vegan!  Had to go give some -ahem- samples to be tested.  A gross but very fascinating thing to do (t'was my first time).

A volatile stomach coupled with dance injury has made it a tad frustrating to keep up with my full schedule. I wonder if this is a sign for me to slow my roll a bit.

Another sign - I impulsively adopted a dog.  He kind of fell into my lap.  My coworker found him while camping (strangely enough, I was supposed to be on this camping trip but was performing at the International Saskatoon Congress instead).  A beautiful black dog came out of nowhere and started following the camping group.  My coworker tried nearby campers to see if anyone owned the dog, but no luck.  Tried contacting nearby shelters - no luck.  Tried posting online notices - no luck. Meanwhile, I kept tabs on the story of the abandoned forest dog.

A vet checkup revealed that the dog needs neutering and pulling of some damaged teeth.  After a couple of weeks of fostering, my coworker concluded that despite being a forest dog, the black dog is very friendly and gentle.  He does not chew on furniture or shoes.  He does not bark (hello, condo living!).  He is pretty much house trained aside from the handful of times he likes to mark his territory (neutering should fix this).

Upon finding out the dog would be taken to the SPCA if no one wanted him, I don't know what happened to me.  It was a little like watching myself in a movie.  Something in me woke up, and I couldn't stop myself from taking my sister to meet the black dog.  No turning back there.  Of course we fell in love with the sweetest mix of rottweiler, border collie and german shepherd.   Took him home that very night!

Say hi to Hachi, my first rescue dog :)

A bundle of love that still doesn't bark but does strange stray dog things like
-ignore chew toys and rawhide treats
-ignore dog beds
-be absolutely petrified of baths
-bolt for rabbits and cats (nope, not ready for off-leash yet!)

I'm away for work in Vancouver and I'm so grateful that I have willing hands to help take care of Hachi.

Oh dear. The stomach is acting up again. On the bright side, I'm enjoying this magical place of beach and mountains and made it through a long day of work without stomach episodes.  Let's hope tomorrow is similar!  I never know when a stomach episode is gonna hit nowadays.

Vancouver is so very beautiful.  I can totally see myself walking Hachi by the beach or taking a future mini-me to the aquarium (heck, I'm still a kid at the aquarium).  Or just relaxing with fresh juice at a 24-hour vegetarian restaurant.  I love that there's still so much to do even after working late.  And the weather has been amazing these past couple of days!

Now to go weather the storm in my stomach.  Hopefully a comfy hotel bed and ginger ale do the trick.        

Enough.

Shameful, but I only read up on the Nigerian schoolgirl mass kidnapping just now. NEARLY A MONTH AFTER. If it was a wealthier, whiter country you can bet the media wouldn't have been this delayed.  It's sad but true ... and I believe things will change but it just seems so damn slow compared to other things like smartphone releases.

The anger I feel at tragedies like this makes me think of when I first started reading Anne Rice's vampire books when I was a preteen.  There is this one vampire, the oldest and the root of all vampires.  Akasha.  She is an ancient Egyptian queen who awakes from her deep sleep into modern day life.  Upon seeing how messed up and chauvinistic the world still is, she goes a bit berserk and starts her master plan to kill off the majority of the world's human men and make up a matriarchal new world order.  Think Dexter, but a beautiful Egyptian neofeminist version on steroids.  The modern vampires of course try to stop her and keep her from this massacring half of the world.

It would be badass if Akasha was unleashed on the Boko Haram. Just saying.

Lunch Admiration of Pioneers.

This resonates with me so very much:

I do not wish for the life my father left behind, but I know that some spirit forged in that particular adversity made me possible. -Andrew Solomon

I'm reading Far From the Tree right during lunch and I just had to note that.  This book after reading the whole A Series of Unfortunate Events series is quite the fluctuation but I love both authors all the same.  They both hit with a melancholy that is also somehow light and funny.

After seeing a recent facebook pic posted by my aunt, I would like to once more openly admire my 92-year-old grandma (elegant woman below in scarf).  Those are some good genes! :)  My aunt on the far left and my aunt on the far right also look decades younger than they actually are (but I won't be rude and give their ages away - it's different for my grandma because she has hit the magical ninety-year milestone).  The woman in the middle (beside my grandma) is one of my grandma's greatest closest friends :) 

 

Okay, back to the grind!

See?

All four fishes are frozen and just staring at me.  So still that I managed to get a decent picture!

Or maybe this is just how creatures with no eyelids sleep.

I really should just go home already.  Or be salsa dancing. Meh!

Just ... a few more ... drawingss

*twitch*

Backwardmontonians?

Edmonton was recently rated the worst Canadian major city for women to live in.

Yikes!

I feel as if I am contained in a lovely little rose tinted bubble that shields me from this harsh statistic.  The engineering office I work in is not your typical Old Boys Club.  There are of course more men than women but I still feel like I can progress based on my own merit.  In my lucky little pocket of Edmonton, the older men I encounter at work are quite approachable and generous with their help and knowledge. Plus there are well-respected and extremely competent women to boot.  Boo-yah!

I've made a strange discovery.  While taking it easy on my body lately, I mistakenly assumed that less practices would mean more delicious home rest for me.  [INSERT GAME SHOW WRONG ANSWER BUZZER HERE] Nope.  It turns out when I remove dance, something else takes its place.  I now suspect I have workaholic tendencies.  At midnight last night I was still in the office, cleaning up schematics.  Even my fish were stopping and staring at me like "GO HOME SO THE LIGHTS CAN GO OFF AND WE CAN FINALLY SLEEP."  

You know it's bad when you leave work and get weirded out if it's still light outside. 

Fortunately neuromuscular therapy is a wondrous thing, and I am getting back into the dance grind, slowly but surely.  

Mind Farts
-The Grand Budapest Hotel = awesome movie.  awesome awesome awesome
-rice stir fry overdose over.  i'm back to sampling random ready-made stir fry sauces and seasonings when preparing work lunches
-seaweed in stir fry brown rice = divine
-new obsession: caramelized onion hummus.  Superstore makes a wicked Vidalia onion one
-randomly saw a Korean melodrama about a werewolf boy ... and enjoyed it!  even if it was a melodrama.  loved the awkward dinner scenes
-heard a fascinating talk on "fecal transfer" on CBC radio when i was driving home one night.  eat healthy person's poo = revolution?  this could be our future, if we can manage to make ingesting poo easier to stomach (haaaa pun intended).  pretty shiny pill form maybe?  this could solve allergies and weight gain!  even autism experiments were successful.  the potential is mind-boggling

R.I.P. Pasty Tail :(

The bamboo pruning and 50% water change yesterday was too much for you. I noticed your tail colour going away and your loner tendencies last night.

This morning I plan to bury you somewhere.  It seems more dignified than the toilet or the garbage.  

You were a cute and energetic little guy.  I'll miss you and I hope you are enjoying the fishbowl in the sky.

Update: after a mini ceremony outside in the office back parking lot, we buried Pasty Tail and paid our last respects.  Strange scenario when I got back: the 2 female and 2 male fish were acting extremely happy in the bowl. 

Maybe they weren't big fans of Pasty Tail.  Maybe Pasty Tail was a fifth wheel at their swingers party.

Late Night Office Friends.

Transformed my office bamboo plant (which has grown like crazy) into an aquarium:

I like it! It's calming to watch.

The fishes like it too. They are White Cloud Mountain minnows (of the golden variety) so they are supposed to be tough and hardy little things. Hope they stick around for a while!

Okay no more circuits! Time to make 10pm practice!

And Just Like That, We Could've Killed Someone.

On the way back from Calgary this afternoon, she wandered without a care right into our path on Highway 2 just north of Red Deer:

Thankfully the GM of our office, who was driving, was alert and had enough control to brake and swerve so that we didn't hit her.

Unfortunately, the truck behind us tried to brake and swerve too but hit us.  Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.

What's really messed up: The woman just kept right on walking across the road, even after she caused an accident and even after I yelled at her to stop and come back.  

It was one of the weirdest and eeriest things I have ever seen in my life, someone not caring like that.  Maybe it was dementia or drunkenness or depression. She didn't do the drunken stumble though.  It was a creepily smooth, slow walk.  My memory tells me she is a woman in her 60s or 70s with bags and a water bottle filled with yellow liquid. Piss ... Liquor ... Who knows?  I just vividly remember her water bottle for some reason - maybe because water bottles are supposed to be filled with water and the yellow liquid looked out of place.

The police came right away and took her away after making sure that everyone was physically ok.

I was coming back from a women's forum luncheon filled with ideas and thoughts about women in the changing modern engineering workplace and now I have this seemingly crazy and suicidal elderly woman on my mind.

Salsa Swoon *Record Scratch* Bedtime? NOooooOOoooo

Successfully performed 3 times at a congress  AND got some intense and mind-blowing training from some brilliant minds :)  Calgary was a very good time.  

Some really cool photos popped up, especially of my routine with my salsa group (we did this crazy different routine - no prissy girly girls in this one!).  There's this one salsa styling hit that feels really good and a Calgary photographer (thanks Brian Abelson!) was able to capture the exact moment.  How awesome is this shot?

Video can be found here.

Forcing myself to go to bed early so I can go to a work event in Calgary (again!) and head out at 6AM from the office for the road trip. Nite-O!

Adrenalin Crash!

Performed again last night!  And again, the adrenalin rush kept me up till 3AM.  It gave me warm and fuzzy feelings to see the salsa dance schools in Edmonton represent and show their support together at a single event.  This can only enrich the level of dance in this city.  As someone who trains with two dance schools, I have much admiration and respect for spectrum and variety.  Screw petty rivalry!  An added bonus was having a group of fantastic salsa girlfriends there too.

One of the "harem" took the action shot below :)

Body is beat up, but survived 7 hours of double practice today - whew!

I'm forcing myself to go to bed at a decent time tonight.  The Calgary International Salsa Congress is coming up fast, and I need to be sufficiently recharged for my first congress triple performance.

One great thing about being extremely busy is the lack of time to complain about the following current events:

-Edmonton's refusal to let spring weather in (brrrrr!)
-a not as big bonus (heck, i'm happy with any bonus!  the previous craphole i used to work at managed to weasel its way out of even giving me one despite all the unpaid overtime i worked in addition to a pittance of a salary - or respect for that matter)
-the apparent need to be more salary conscious in this hot economy. at this point i'm happy to have a fun and stimulating workplace that gives me enough to pay my bills and then some

I still wonder about Flight MH370 though :( 

BAM!

Admittedly, I think the overtime at work and the double dancing training was finally getting to me in terms of feeling run down a bit - finally.  I say "finally" because it feels like it took over half a year for me to get to this point.  In the meantime there was always a little wondering thought in my head: "when are you going to crash, Angel?"

These past couple of weeks were particularly crazy and it felt like I would blink and be in another time and place somehow (cubicle with engineering drawings ... blink ... car ... blink ... practice ... blink ... next practice ... blink ... stomach grumble ... blink ... at my fridge and feeling sad that I'm running out of spinach).

Then I find out on short notice I have to perform with the Afro Cuban group at the Thursday salsa night this week and while at the same time keep training for the Calgary congress next weekend (with both Afro Cuban and salsa teams).  I've social danced at this Thursday salsa night countless times but performing there was a totally new thing.

Pre-performance practice tonight:

 It was actually kind of nerve wracking!

There were technical difficulties and we were stuck in our beginning pose for a while during the first number.

And then ... the energy and the rush!  The local salsa crowd cheering during the music silence ... my friends catcalling.  How do you not laugh and smile at that?  So much love.  Thank God for them :)

And THEN the music started and I was in the zone and loving the rhythm.  I was as per Canadian white boy talk "givin' 'er and gettin' 'er done!!"  2 minute costume change and then the final number.  Adrenalin is pumping strong at this point and the music sounds extreemmellyyy slowww to meeeee.  Feeling it!  Only one mini-screw up and it happened because I felt like I was going to high kick audience members (the space was small).  But I kept right on going and it was smooth sailing till the ending.  BAM!

And now I'm the opposite of run down.  2AM and I'm still wired :)

I believe this is why I do this :)

Looks like it'll be Zombie Friday at work again!

Post-performance :)

The Sea is a Ginormous Place

So I'm trying out this crowdsourcing thing.  I've signed up on Tomnod and started looking at satellite map tiles (along with thousands of others) to try to locate anything related to Flight MH370.

It's a strange thing.. viewing monotonous satellite map tiles like this on Tomnod ...

... CAN GET REALLY STRANGELY ADDICTING (OCD warnings anyone?).

It's nothing but sea and clouds so far - and I CAN'T STOP CLICKING.

I really should get to bed at a decent time for a change.

Just one ... more ... map tile ...

:(

It's true ... When tragedy affects people who appear more similar to us, we are more affected.

Had this discussion recently about how race plays a factor in how richer nations view tragedies and how strong their response is.   

I admit that even though I am saddened when I hear of a disaster that strikes anywhere in the world, I tend to be even more haunted when I see victims who I imagine are like my relatives and friends.   And of course, like me too. 

The disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 is extremely disturbing.  One can't help but read about the people on that flight manifest.  I see Facebook pictures of the beautiful Indian-Chinese Canadian couple and their little boys (I believe the boys are safe and didn't board the flight).  The quintessential modern Canadian family.  Then there's the Asian female engineer who is around my age. No pictures of her, but the descriptions people give are of an intelligent and pleasant woman with a great smile who is rising up in her company, travels a lot for work and just purchased a house on her own (apparently she is unmarried).   She could be me or any of my single hardworking girlfriends!  Most of the people on that flight are counterparts of people in my life that I encounter everyday. 

Just everyday innocent folks ... on vacation ... on business.. 

What the hell happened to that flight?  I pray and hope for the best case, that the victims are stranded somewhere and surviving.  And if this was an attempted hijack, then I hope that the victims are stranded somewhere and surviving, and that they have successfully beat the @#$@#@#$#!@# out of the hijackers. 

Lucky Descendant.

My grandma just turned 92 :)

And I have to say - she looks amazing!!!  This lovely strong woman raised ten children on her own and still runs her own household to this day.  She EXPERIENCED World War II.  As a pretty young girl, she was hidden away in a convent when Japanese soldiers raped and pillaged the Philippines.  Even now you can still see her poise and beauty :)  I have many memories of her visiting me and caring for me in Brunei and in Canada as a child.  She STILL remembers every birthday and sends me a card and letter with a "special treat" inside :)

Despite the increasing dependence we have on our phones and being "connected" all the time (even during dates and family gatherings), I am very very grateful to see how my relatives are doing in the Philippines, US and even the Middle East when I log on to facebook.

When I see their pictures, I am so happy that they are healthy and well ... but I also get a little twinge of sadness that I am so far away.  If only plane rides were as quick and easy as bus rides.

Many people here take it for granted that their relatives are here and they can have big family gatherings for birthdays and holidays.  My Thanksgiving dinners are limited to a handful of people - my immediate family.  I love this country, but I also wish I could see my relatives more, especially since both my parents come from huge families.  I have a ton of relatives and should be having big and boisterous dinners!

I never got the chance to meet my grandma on my mom's side - she passed away too early.  I have a deep fascination with her life, because I only have bits and pieces of stories about her from my mom (who was only a toddler when my grandma passed away) and my aunt.  My maternal grandma was also an amazing and very intelligent, resourceful woman.  If it wasn't for her, my mom and her siblings probably wouldn't have been able to go get the education they did.

But that's another story for another day.

I love that I am a product of incredible women like my grandmas :)  Here's to magnificent matriarchs!

Updates/Mind Farts
-yes! 12 Years a Slave won Best Picture AND Lupita Nyong'o won Best Supporting Actress (her acceptance speech was beautiful).  Patsey and Solomon are watching from somewhere..
-Ukraine and Venezuela ... so much senseless violence. at the same time too :(
-if you think about it, half of you was already a little egg in your mother even when she was a baby in her mother's womb.  you were already a little egg in your maternal grandma!  yet another reason why grandmas are magical and powerful beings :)
-decided to give Sun Warrior vegan protein a try.  it seems to be a bit cheaper than Vega One (which is what i was using).  it's delicious! i got the chocolate one :)   i recommend both brands.  Sun Warrior for more protein and less price ... Vega One for extra goodies (maca powder, probiotics, omega 3's, etc.)
-Filipinos are rocking it in customer service.  rocking it!  the only reason i upgraded my Shaw cable was because the service rep was great.  the one from a year ago was not very nice - the scheduling was totally off and i waited for a whole day for a tech to come, only to find out the tech thought it was a different day. i completely gave up and never wanted to deal with a service rep or tech again.  also had a few other experiences were the Filipino customer service rep was the company's only saving grace in keeping me as a customer

Thanks Philippine Pulp and Paper Industry!

I'm waiting for the cable tech to swing by my condo before I can leave for the office this lovely sunny but very crispy cold Friday morning.  Come to mama faster internet and Smithsonian channel!  This waiting may take a while and may throw my schedule off but hey, at least I get to sit in a sunny living room and sit down and eat a warm breakfast :)

And peruse Facebook a.k.a crackbook.

Which brings me to the photo above.  My mom has gotten in touch with some of her former coworkers and friends from back in the day when she was in her twenties and working in Mindanao.  I've only been able to imagine what her workplace was like until now.  One of her friends posted up this pic of the building she worked in.  That's where she met my dad :)  My dad is from the north, near the capital.  There is no way he would've met my mom if he didn't apply for a job all the way in the south.  She was handing out entrance exams for engineers and he was one of the applicants.  My dad the smooth yet subtle gentleman called her later on to check on his results.  She loved that he was humble about it and had a "nice voice," not to mention a high IQ.  And the rest is history!  So if it wasn't for this company, then no Angel. So weird to think of it that way.

Mind Farts
-Canada rocked the winter olympics :) yeah!
-new late night restaurant discovery: Steel Wheels.  a bluish room filled with grafitti, non-diffused lighting, a sweet Korean man with a bucket of chopsticks.  and what do they serve?  Korean food and pizza of course!  the veggie rice dish is delish - i could eat a bucket of that seasoned broccoli
-axolotls are cute little buggers
-dipping a blueberry bagel in tomato soup may sound gross but it's actually quite good.  yes, my fridge stores are running low
-apparently the sum of 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + ... all to infinity will equal -1/12.  -0.833333333!  i can't handle this new piece of info
-secret guilty tv pleasure: house hunters international

Boing!

Bounce back time.  It took 4 days of bedrest to recover and now it's back to work and dance.  Work, practice, perform ... rinse and repeat.  The sky is blue - yadda yadda yadda!

But what's this? *gasp* Another break!  Just spent the long weekend in the mountains with dancer girlfriends who don't dance as much anymore.  Another rapid transition to a slower pace, but at least it wasn't because I was sick.  It's much more fun to relax because you planned a trip with girlfriends. Not because a brutal virus confines to your bed.  Triple treat: weather, scenery, company.  Ohhh to wake up naturally (no alarms!!) and to relax with drinks and good food with constant Olympics updates in the background where ever there's a TV screen.

Spending a good chunk of time with people who aren't dancing enormous amounts (anymore) gives me a broader perspective and a gentle reminder: If I wasn't spending so much time dancing, I would have more sleep, have a cleaner condo, have more food in the fridge,  have more chances to rekindle other hobbies, have more free weekends to spend with family and friends, have more trips that are purely vacation-related as opposed to dance-related ... the list goes on and on.  Look at how relaxed we all look!

But as I've said before, I think that if you do something and you keep doing it and you are not sure why ... then all the more reason to do it!  Maybe it's something instinctual and natural that draws you.  Maybe a temporary surge of incredible energy has hit me and I should dissipate it in dance before it runs out.  Maybe I am diving too hard and too deep and will finally get stopped by burnout.  Or maybe I'll adapt instead and keep getting stronger until I eventually decide to move on to other things, with a greater sense of discipline and "oomph" in me.

At the end of these internal discussions that I have with myself, I conclude that it's ultimately my choice in the end.  Which is comforting.  It is a luxury after all to be able to make choices like this.  And the nice thing is, it seems like either way I win!  If I keep pushing myself in dance I'll just keep getting better.  If  I tone down the dancing, I'll be able to enrich the rest of my life even more.  One of the former-dancer girlfriends brought along her adorable and extremely intelligent little girl and watching them interact was pretty damn beautiful :) Also, I love toddler logic.

Mind Farts
-cross country skiing is much cheaper than downhill. talk about a good cardio session! and it's toddler-friendly too.  pulling a sled containing a toddler even adds strength training to the mix
-sometimes there is that one routine that feels sooo good to perform.  the music and the movement feel like such a good fit ... even lifts become effortless!
-or maybe acro-yoga is just helping my core strength and balance ;)
-new vegan trait i've discovered:  i get horrified when people don't finish their veggies/bread and i often offer to eat their leftovers. like when i attacked some red onions that were going to be thrown away and stashed them in my veggie sandwich instead
-hard liquor is easier on my morning-after stomach than beer.  helloo Havana Club!
-costco rice crackers = crack cocaine

-Lemony Snicket children's book: first word to learn is "bird." next is "despondent."  haha i love it. I will have to read A Series Of Unfortunate Events now

Mom 2.0

I get a lot from my mom - we both love to perform, befriend and wear hot pink. We both empathize with animals and personify objects. We don't understand dill pickles and licorice. We are capable of playing video games and watching movies until our eyelids droop and the sun begins to rise.

Turns out I kind of look like her too. After getting my new passport pic done, I added an Instagram filter which pretty much recreates my mom in the 70s:

I love it! This has got to be my favourite McBain Camera portrait so far.

Now it's time to be run-down and sick in bed. It's not even officially February yet!  But the sore throat and accompanying achy snotty lethargy don't lie - 10 hour work days, dancing 20 hours a week and lack of sleep are getting to me.

I need to do better with the sleeping.  Because everything else was sure hard to avoid!

Like

-17 workshops in 6 days with one of my favouritest dancers in the world
-performing Afro Cuban and getting a thumbs up from our hip, smart and progressive young new mayor
-trying acro yoga for the first time and balancing a 200lb big blond man on my legs
-working on cutting edge new stuff at the office (well in North America anyway) and learning non-stop

Aughh! I want ALL the things!  Good thing practice was cancelled tonight. I took it as a sign. Time to catch up on dreams and unconsciousness!

Unconsciousness will be prompted by generic Neo Citran, courtesy of the big blond I balanced on my legs :)

Bam, Bam and BAM!

Oh, you fabulous day, you. Got a great performance review at work and then today was the first evening of Alien's week-long workshops :) AND she gave me a compliment! 

Body exhausted yet mind still excited. What's a gal to do? (Answer to this question is usually reading or YouTube).

Anxiety and Teriyaki

One nice thing about being an engineer is having a good number of male coworkers who will willingly help push your car when it is stuck in the snow :)  Not that a woman couldn't do it but myself and the other females were in heels that night.

Poor parking decision on my part but I may have still been high on adrenalin at the time.  I was coming from my first performance ever which I only had two days to learn.  I don't think I've ever been that anxious before a performance - I actually felt nauseated the day before.  But it went fine and I was just so happy I made it through.  It helps to have amazing Cuban dancers on either side of you to take away the pressure.  Two elegant bookends make almost any book look extra good ;)

Speaking of books, I finished devouring MaddAddam and am currently rereading the rest of the Oryx and Crake trilogy.  I couldn't resist!  Margaret Atwood has such a knack not just for speculative fiction, but even for brand/product names and company names in the speculative future.  Maybe she should be copyrighting that stuff even though it doesn't really exist yet.

Oh double practice Sundays ... How you challenge my body so.  I really should get up and make my work lunches for the week.  I need to make sure food is accessible all week, since I will be rushing between work and dance even more than usual.  One of my favourite dancers is coming to do workshops for seven days.  It's none other than Alien Ramirez (the one I was thrilled to be mistaken for in Miami ... even if it was very very brief).   Okay my hunger is beating out my beaten body ... must go cook! I am on a stir fry kick right now.  I didn't realize there were so many ready-made sauces out there to make life easier.  

Asian Fail.

Happy New Year!  I just discovered the hard way that Korean soybean paste (doenjang) does NOT equal miso paste.  It is not even close.  My first lesson of 2014.

I was craving vegetables and rice and excitedly found a vegan recipe for fried rice in order to have my work lunches lined up for the week.  The recipe called for miso paste and so I went to TNT to pick some up.  TNT surprisingly didn't have it and I was in a rush so I ended up grabbing a tub of the nearest brown soybean paste, assuming all would be well.

When I started cooking, I noticed the paste had a pretty pungent smell but proceeded to succumb to the urge to add a tablespoon more than the recipe called for anyway.  I've never cooked with any type of soybean paste before and "soybean paste" just sounds so harmless.  Like a white sock or a pencil eraser.

This tendency to eyeball ingredients has resulted in almost ruining my big batch of vegan fried rice.

I tasted the result and it was WAY STRONGER than I expected.  A powerfully pungent punch to the taste buds.  A quick google revealed that doenjang is something like ten times more potent than miso!  Yikes.  I ended up going out for lunch today instead.

I am currently trying to dilute my overpowering fried rice with some plain old jasmine rice and more veggies before I go to dance practice.  It seems to be working.  Now my batch of fried rice will be even bigger, but at least it won't feel like a thousand soybeans died in my mouth every time I eat lunch at work.