It's Been Grand, 2015.

Thanks for being a great year.

I have no reason to be ungrateful.  Despite the dramatic dip in oil prices, I'm still working at a job I enjoy.  I am able to spend the holidays with my family.  I traveled a bit this year.  I got to catch up with dear family and friends near and far because of wedding activities.  I continue to keep my mind and body busy and searching. 

I was a bit lame last night and went home earlier than planned so I could get up early this morning for an Ashtanga yoga New Year's Eve event, which consisted of 108 sun salutations. It was worth it - I am happy to say I did all 108 (holy good workout batman!) and now I'm at the office wrapping up. This may be my tamest New Year's Eve yet.  I see it as a replica of a big chunk of my year, working many hours and also doing more yoga-ing. 

This holiday was one full of relaxation and marathoning Hannibal (wow, made me glad to be eating plants) and plans to marathon Star Wars (man the Force Awakens was fun to watch!).  And a sprinkle of work of course.  I even FINALLY did some condo cleaning. Finally!  Maybe one day soon I can invite people over without feeling like a hoarder.

Now off to enjoy the last of my 2015!

Mind Farts
-bumped into my massage therapist at the yoga session this morning and realized i'm long overdue for a massage
-i did however finally use up my pedicure gift card from last Christmas and it was sooooo relaxing.  i totally understand why women go to the spa  - why don't i do this more often?
-confession: guilty pleasure of 2015 = K-dramas
-also watched the Big Short. loved it.  funny and refreshing learning experience about the American 2008 housing crash
-vegan = cheap easy drunk
-mad props to the Edmonton Public Library!  i've been borrowing books like crazy.  i've even been picking them up at the very same branch my mom used to take me and my sister to when we were new immigrant kids.  talk about coming around full circle!

WHYYY

Photos from Edmonton Journal/Instagram/Facebook

Look at how stupid these pictures are.

These men along with a 13-year-old (whose name Canadian law is currently protecting) that shot down two Mac's convenience store employees at two separate locations on the same night in Edmonton this Friday.  The employees did not put up a fight and were executed for no reason.

One employee was a 35-year-old father who just came from India to be with his wife and child.  The other was a 41-year-old man from the Philippines who was also trying to support his family, sending money back to the Philippines.  Now they're dead just before Christmas for no reason whatsoever.  

Photos from CBC

I don't know how to wrap my head around this.  I understand people resort to robbery because of poverty/messed up upbringings/etc. but there is absolutely no reason to kill innocent people that pose zero threat and with zero cause.  How can one even feel any pity for people who murder senselessly?  What gets me is that these criminals are re-offenders.  Including the 13-year-old.  How do we even rehabilitate people like these?    Something is not working in the justice system.  

R.I.P. Karanpal Bhangu and Ricky Cenabre :( 

Now THIS is Living.

I am currently listening to Tao Porchon-Lynch speak and I can't stop smiling. I would love one day to be like her as I approach 100 years of age. 

She still teaches yoga and has won numerous dance competitions (she started learning ballroom at 87.. With partners decades younger).

She's vegetarian and still has a childlike wonder about everything, especially nature. She will even avoid killing bugs (like me!). 

She still drives. She still drinks fresh juice and eats Indian food. 

She is more flexible than most people I know.  She has more health and joy in her life than many people I know.

She HUNG OUT WITH GANDHI.

She exemplifies why I have no desire to accept the status quo, blindly eating and sitting ourselves into oblivion, without a thought about what it does to our bodies and minds.  Or giving up on learning something new just because of age or any other so-called "restriction."  Too many people nowadays give up too early.

Eff that!

Some Christmas Cheer!

Quite nice not to work at all this weekend and do some fun socializing and relaxing instead. 

Mind Farts

-it's confirmed: Hachi is a completely different dog at daycare! Very calm and angelic at home but a hyper maniac at daycare. No wonder he's so tired when he gets home!

-one of my favourite compliments is being called strong :) a nerdy bookworm will always love hearing that.  thanks yoga teacher!

-even though I am still trying to figure out how to maneuver being a lonely unicorn vegan in this city, it is comforting that many of my friends are considerate enough to prepare things I can eat or make sure to warn me about things that I shouldn't eat - much appreciated!

-i am really digging the library these days.  I can't resist, even with all the overtime hours at work.  This month alone I've already read about yoga, Ray Charles and Sarah de Vries (one of the many women murdered at the Pickton farm. Her sister Maggie de Vries did a great job authoring the book ... A lot of painful and raw but eye-opening truth in there)

A Heavy Hearted Morning.

This morning I saw the smallest casket I've ever seen. A funeral for a little child is a whole new level of sadness. It just seems so unfair that he didn't even get a chance at life.  

Rest in peace little one. 

Soylent Day 4.

So far so good! Myself and male carnivorous coworkers have managed to stay on the Soylent wagon.  One more day to go! We are gonna nuts at our first solid food dinner tomorrow night!

Soylent really does seem to fulfill basic nourishment needs.  We are satisfied but still sometimes crave the saltiness and crunchiness of solid meals. My craving is for something potato-y or onion ring-y that can be dipped in ketchup.  

Since we don't really "eat lunch" anymore, we've been doing some entertaining activities during lunchtime. So far we've gone bowling, played foosball and today we are going to Big Al's, a massive aquarium emporium.  

My true test of resistance was yesterday. There was an office dinner at the Italian restaurant next door and I managed to sit and socialize and NOT eat or drink!  I was glad I didn't because I had an Ashtanga class afterwards. 

I also got "Mugged" yesterday - a new office Christmas ritual that just popped up this year.  You receive a mug filled with goodies from an anonymous gifter, put up a sign on your cubicle and then find another victim to anonymously mug :) 

And I miraculously haven't touched any of the dark chocolates in my mug! 

Pretty Good Start.

Yoga practice, check.

Soylent for breakfast, check. 

All before 730AM! Not bad :)

Soylent is much better cold.. I'm not sure why it tastes so bad warm! It's pretty subtle though, especially when cold. I caved and added some Nesquick flavour. 

A Painful Piece of News at Lunchtime.

Photo: Toronto Star

Anita Krajnc may go to jail for 10 years because she gave water to terrified dehydrated pigs on their way to the slaughterhouse.  Kudos to you Anita for being so damn brave and compassionate.  In her own words:

Peering in, I was met face to face with sad and terrified pigs, each one eerily similar to the dog standing by my side. The sight was haunting. I knew I had to act.

People may laugh at me for caring about pigs, but the more I think about it, the more I ask myself what makes them different from our beloved dogs?  The more I see and hear about the horrors that humans inflict in the name of "because it tastes good," the more I know for sure that I will never go back to eating meat.  To me, it just doesn't make sense ... aside from moral/ethical reasons, it can make you fat and sick and it harms the planet.  AND less people go hungry if we grew plants for food instead of breeding animals and killing them.     

But I'm sick of having to respond to "Oh! I could never do that!  I could never give up [insert animal product here]."

So now when people ask how I manage to look younger/take care of my skin/have so much energy, I just smile.  

Although ... maybe it's because I'm delving deeper into my thirties - I feel like I am "coming into my own" and finally getting to know what affects me deeply and what I won't back down from.  The big 3-0 was a thrill once I hit it, because I noticed I started to not care so much about what others thought.  I used to have the rep of being "too nice" but now I know there are things I will not succumb to just to be nice.  One is eating meat and another one is putting up with the irritating combination of ignorance and rudeness.  The latter I put up with way too much when I was younger - including racist white "friends."  Ugh.  I am also much more ferociously protective of my family and culture.  Maybe because my parents are getting older and also I realize how much they actually sacrificed for my sister and I, especially now that I am working.  I cannot imagine what it was like for my parents, leaving everything behind for a foreign country, just so their kids could get better chances.  If my parents get insulted, then best believe I'm doubly insulted.

So yeah, I'm changing.  

It can be challenging.  I'm with someone who I met when I was in my twenties and I don't know where this will take us.  I ate meat in my twenties.  I went through a long dancer phase during which I went vegetarian for a couple of years.  Now it's veganism and yoga (which I have a feeling are two things that voraciously feed off each other).  I feel I've definitely morphed a lot more than he has.  So far he's been pretty understanding.  But if conflict comes about, who's being unfair?  The one who changed or the one who stayed the same?  

The majority of my family and friends eat meat and it can be a tricky to deal with.  I used to be fairly nonchalant about it (heard this one a lot: "oh, you're such a cool non-preachy vegan!") but now when I see pieces of carcass my stomach does turn.  How to resolve this, I'm still unsure.  Run away to some magical predominantly vegan city where I am finally not a lonely unicorn?  I'm not gonna lie, I do daydream about it once in a while.  I mean c'mon I'm in the land of Alberta beef!  Le sigh.    

Okay time to walk the little munchkin before it gets too late (and sketchy).  

Still a Garcia.

Just because you get hitched doesnt mean you have to change too much.  Sure, there are new grown up things to deal with like changing my benefits (wha-at? I actually have to look at the spouse section now?) and thank you cards ... but I'm still a workaholic and I still enjoy throwing myself into random hobbies and trying to balance and heal my body.

In the span of a few days I went from this 

To this 

And now a bunch of late nights like this

(Beautifully bizarre and intricate desktop wallpaper = art by Robert Steven Connett.)

This weekend will be my first real weekend in a while!  I've already taken Hachi to the dog park and then I'm going to hit up a barre class.  My current physical elixir consists of Ashtanga yoga and barre (dance is leaking slowly back into my life) with a touch of Iyengar yoga.  

In December I am excited to try 5 days of Soylent with my coworker friends.  Soylent was invented by an engineer who was tired of the time it takes to meal prep and find food in general.  This liquid supposed to be quite nutrionally complete and it's vegan!    I still can't quite believe that my carnivorous guy friends at work initiated this.  The workaholic side of me is excited about the 2-3 hours that will be freed up in each day since I won't have to meal prep or eat out anymore.  Or even grocery shop.  

I have noticed that since I've started Ashtanga, my appetite is different.  I no longer get too "hangry" even when I'm hungry.  From reading the blogs and discussion boards, it sounds like the Soylent converts rave about similar things I experienced when I went vegan:

-tons of energy

-feeling "lighter and cleaner"

-consistent mental clarity and a stable generally happy mood

-less digestive issues

-don't need as much sleep, but when sleep arrives, it is solid and deep

If Soylent improves these even further for me than I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself!

Mind Farts

-is it weird that i have a strange mini-satisfaction that the world is paying attention to Trudeau's looks? it's like society is saying "Ha! See? Gender equality! We judge *both* men and women superficially!"

-i realized how ferociously proud i am of my parents and my immigrant culture when my mother sang for me at the wedding and when my father surprised me with a beautiful and eloquent speech at the reception (coming from an introvert who hates attention, i know it took a lot for him to go up there - and he rocked it).  and they were so graceful and wonderful with the guests on both sides.  this has caused me to cling to my last name even more 

-felt so very loved and appreciated when we opened the wedding gifts.  our family and friends were extremely generous (even ones who couldn't make it to the wedding).  thank you cards are definitely in order!

-met a bunch of my new extended family at the wedding and also at a recent funeral. it's true - reunions happen mainly during weddings and funerals.  R.I.P. Uncle Jim.  you were a very intelligent yet simple and modest man

Wanted: Some Compassion.

Rawwrr.  Animal Safari Stagette was a success.  No real animals were harmed during this bachelorette party.  Just humans (a bit of abdominal soreness due to the trampoline portion in the daytime).  I am one lucky lady to have beautiful inside-out people that poured so much love and planning into this :)

Edmonton's second Diner En Blanc was also a success.  I liked it even more than the first one!  Churchill Square was invaded by a lot of elegance dressed in white.  If I go next year, I am definitely buying a white dolly to cart stuff around in.  We did potluck style this year which was a fantastic idea, because the food was so much better this time around.  My group happened to have some fantastic cooks who came up with a lot of vegan-friendly dishes (I did an easy chana masala with brown rice).  

Vegan frickin heaven.  

Yeah, September's been busy!

I've missed a couple of deadlines at work because I'm not working as much overtime, but I am trying to have more of a life these days.  I was mortified to return a measly total of two library books - one unfinished - after TWO renewals.  That's a big shame for someone who likes to inhale books.  Definitely a sign of not making enough time to stop and smell the roses (in this case smell the lovely musty books).

There are more important things in the world happening right now anyway ... like the refugee crisis and the election.  I came across the picture of Aylan Kurdi's body washed up on the beach.  I didn't mean to - I am torn about the media displaying dead bodies because of the loss of dignity. In this case though, at least it spurred a movement to help.  I see things like this and it just boggles my mind that people have no inclination to help.  I overheard a conversation in my office between two guys and they were very vocal about rejecting the thought of helping the Syrian refugees, dismissing them as an inconvenience.  I had to walk away or else I might have made fun of them leading their cold little isolated lives, worrying about nothing but themselves.  Go ahead and enjoy your nice warm homes and your savings and first world problems like wanting even bigger raises and wanting to pay lower taxes.  At least you have salaries and homes, mofos.

These are smart guys, but the lack of empathy bothers me.  I keep noticing it!  Many things seem to boil down to a lack of empathy in this world.  So much brilliant science and tech but we are still in the dark ages of empathy.  Maybe the engineering world is just like that and I should know better.  Maybe it's the veganism ... maybe it's me getting older ... maybe it's even the yoga.  I think a big part of it is identifying with immigrants/refugees.  Do people actually think these desperate souls *wanted* to be uprooted from their homes and lives?  Why else would a loving parent put his or her child on a flimsy boat in dangerous waters?  Because there is nothing left to lose.  It might be more challenging to open our doors to foreigners, but that's what this country was built on.  Challenge and opportunity come hand in hand.  

It's not just the lack of compassion for those suffering and in despair.  I find even a lack of empathy in simple everyday things.  A smart experienced engineer will end up being a pain in the ass to work because he is caught up in his own questioning of any way other than his own. To the point where things don't get done efficiently because he just can't seem to see the big picture and cooperate with the rest of the team.  Or even communicate properly.  Sure, he can elaborate for hours about his own designs but just has zero capability to listen to anyone else.  Quite painful.  Also one of the contributors to my missed deadlines.

Dude how self-absorbed can you be?  JUST PUT YOURSELF IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES SO YOU CAN PICTURE THE PROJECT GETTING EXECUTED PROPERLY AND ON TIME.  No one really cares about your million and one other ways of doing the same thing.  

Rant over.  Ha! My silly little first world problem.  A good number of my coworkers are actually reasonable and some are even good listeners, especially the younger ones (maybe they're not so set in their ways).  

I may be a decent listener but I sure am terrible at going to bed.  Fail.  

Because Vegan.

Oy.  Sore.  I'm getting back into kettlebell training again and trying to see if it will mesh well with yoga.  So far so good!

This morning I saw something on my Instagram feed that pretty much sums up how I feel about eating animals.  For me at first, plant-based eating was about not wanting to get food poisoning from chicken ever again.  I evolved from pescatarian to vegetarian and just naturally on my own stopped craving eggs and dairy.   I kept reading about veganism and learning from vocal prominent vegans and there was no turning back. 

Anyway, this is what I saw this morning:

To those (men especially) who worry about losing muscle mass and becoming "wimpy,"  I've been seeing just the contrary as I explore more and more about veganism. My Instagram feed displays male calisthenics experts and bodybuilders of every race who are vegan and look absolutely amazing on the daily. 

Even John Robbins - the guy who came up with the above quote - looks fantastic in his mid 60's.   He turned away from his role as heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream empire to become an author and animal rights and nutrition activist :)

I like this path :)

Ok, I just had to get that out of my system - back to the grind! 

Strong Ankles and Good Beats :)

I just saw Straight Outta Compton :) It was grrrreat! (c) Tony the Tiger.  I just want to keep bobbing my head.  Acting was awesome and I loved learning about the story behind NWA. I didn't listen to NWA too much - I was still a kid and the lyrics were pretty hard.  After watching their story, now I know *why* the lyrics were so violent and angry. The timing is pretty perfect - these days, police-on-black-people violence in America is horrifying.

Although I didn't listen to NWA much, I did love Dre and Snoop and Pac when I was in high school/university, so there were mega flashbacks for me during the movie :) I'll have to add some of these beats to the wedding playlist! 

Speaking of which, I had bachelorette party número uno in Vegas. It was pretty much all I wanted and more :) A grand total of 16 Canadian females and good amounts of wild and crazy.  I still swear the hotels and clubs pump extra oxygen into the air. I was running on maybe four hours of sleep a night and still couldn't get sleepy.  Once I got into the shuttle to go back to the airport though, BAM!!! Asleep.

Annnd lucky me - I get to have a second one in town! A harem of amazing friends is organizing one for me because most of them couldn't make the Vegas one :)  Number two will be at the end of this month.  

Other than wedding stuff, I've been working a lot (definitely considering myself fortunate to be busy at work right now with the current low oil prices) and getting more and more into yoga. I even ended my gym membership! I went to my wedding dress fitting and the dress was actually too big - I was shocked.  When I bought it, it was borderline tight and I was sure I would have to get the dress loosened (especially after all the good food and booze in Vegas).  

And this past Friday I was able to reach around my back and grab my toes for Arda Baddha Paschimottanasana for the first time - left and right side! My face is still far from my shin and my bent knee is still far from the ground, but that reach around flexibility is definitely progress :)

I love that yoga is just you vs. yourself. You push yourself but on your own terms. On your own time. Got a mat? Got a little space? An hour to spare? You're good to go!  Plus the culture of compassion is vegan-friendly and Angel-friendly. 

Mind Farts

-I fell, no "slid" down a waterfall in the Okanagan for the first time in my life. Without panicking.  Was totally Zen. Thanks yoga.  My maids of honour were so confused at my peaceful and happy expression. Like I was on a waterslide and not a slippery mossy waterfall 

-I was working overtime this weekend and laughing to myself while streaming Trevor Noah.. His accents are fantastic and so are his wit and intelligence :) Good pick, Daily Show!

-I learned the hard way not to eat less than three hours before Ashtanga class. Those twists really *are* made for digestion and I ended up having to run away to the washroom for a bit - whoops

-My ankle survived a long weekend in heels in Vegas! This is such a good sign and I'm so relieved :) I kind of want to thank yoga for this too. But it could also be time and rest (I haven't salsa danced in almost a year)

Lineage.

If you are fortunate, you will go on a trip that will amaze you and change you.  This past trip to the Philippines did just that.

The reason I went was a tragic one, but it was healing to be there.  My grandma's wake was my first Filipino wake and I have to say that I much prefer Filipino wakes to North American ones, especially if it is the loss of a dearly loved family member.  A North American one is too short - it is usually one extremely sad day of saying goodbye, with the burial usually right afterwards.

When my grandpa on my mother's side passed away, I wasn't able to go.  His wake went on for 8 days at his house.  There were many visitors and a lot of food.  His body was never alone.  

My grandma (dad's side) passed away on a Thursday.  I booked a flight for Saturday and landed in the Philippines on Sunday evening.  I still got to see my grandma for the days until her burial on Wednesday. Of course at first when my parents and I encountered her coffin, the grief was overwhelming.  

But the titos and titas were there.  Her good friends were there.  My cousins were there.  There was plenty of conversation and food (you know how Filipinos roll).  Blood is indeed thick - I felt at ease and comforted instantly by these relatives who I am half a world away from 99% of the time.  I eventually accepted that my grandma's body was there with us, so that we could celebrate her life and say goodbye in the next few days.  One of my uncles even slept at the funeral home.  My grandma was never alone.  And she looked so pretty and peaceful in the coffin - like she was simply asleep.

Last but not least, there were beautiful pictures of my grandma.  This, combined with the conversations, enlightened me with much about my grandma's life.  When I was growing up, Nanay Carmen was a gentle presence in my life.  Her laugh was gentle and even her scolding was gentle.  Her faith in the Roman Catholic church was an unwavering behemoth though, and we all never doubted it, not even once.  So to me, she was always a sweet, elegant lady who always went to church.  

After this trip, I now realize that Nanay Carmen was gentle but she was resourceful and tough too.  Her life was not easy.  She had to raise ten kids on her own without much support, or a career (as a woman in her 30's I cannot even begin to fathom that).  

In her late forties, she was determined to go back to school and get her degree. And she did, despite being a single mom of ten.  Her graduation picture was at the wake, right beside a more recent picture of her in her 90's (see how lovely she stayed?):

I also saw for the very first time pictures of Nanay Carmen as a little girl!  This was my favourite:

I learned that religious devotion ran in her father's bloodline, which produced numerous priests.  

I learned that she willingly wanted to be raised in the convent when she was older (I always assumed she was hidden there like other Filipinas to spare them from Japanese soldier rapists during the war).  She was already devoted to the Catholic faith at an age when most well-to-do young women are thinking of fashion and boys.

It was a nun from that convent that introduced my Nanay Carmen to her future husband, Rafael.  

Here is where my mind gets blown away.  

Let's fast forward past beautiful scenery, heat, many relatives, delicious food ... and even sad Third World reminders like begging children and caged dogs ... 

At the funeral, I met Lola Lita and her daughter, who were kind enough to invite me to Lola Lita's house in Dagupan and also take me out to dinner and tell me stories and show me pictures of my Garcia lineage.  Lola Lita is the baby sister of my late grandpa (Rafael).  I ended up seeing a picture of the very nun who introduced my Nanay Carmen to Rafael at Lola Lita's house:

The nun is the lady to the right of the matriarch.  That matriarch in the center, that lady with the white hair, is the nun's mother.  The man to the left of the matriarch is her son, who is my great-great grandpa.  Yup, that matriarch is my great-great-great grandmother!  I can't get over the precious gift of seeing a picture like this.     

The icing on the cake?  The man to the left of the matriarch married a Mercado (my great-great grandma) who was FRIGGIN RELATED TO JOSE RIZAL - NATIONAL HERO OF THE PHILIPPINES. 

AND I JUST READ HIS BOOKS LAST YEAR.  To find out I am linked to this man - a doctor who was shot for writing novels that moved the Filipinos against their Spaniard colonizers - is overwhelmingly incredible.

Closer to me on the family tree are my grandpa's brothers, one of whom was assasinated for writing articles that exposed corruption.  One played the violin.  Lola Lita played the piano.  Doctors, writers, musicians.  Lola Lita's daughter still competes in ballroom and she is probably at least in her mid-50's (and doesn't look it at all).  

I remember visiting my grandpa in Vermont before he died, while he was sick.  A lightbulb went off in my head when I saw his beautiful library, where books were organized by section.  Books and books and books!  I realize now that I can't help but be a bookworm and I can't help urges to write ... it's in the blood :)  

I also got to spend a bit of time with my mom's younger brother's family and visit my grandpa's grave.  My mom's side is full of music in the form of self-taught musicians and singers.  I discovered on this trip that mom even taught herself (and my tito, her younger brother) to play guitar.  It was great to sit in my tito's house and listen to him and my mom sing and play guitar.  If you go further back, my grandpa's siblings wrote and performed their own street plays.  

Here is my grandpa and his favourite and homemade banjo (which is currently kept at my tito's house):

It is bittersweet to look at pics like this.  I didn't get to know my grandpa (mom's side) as well as I should have - it was too dangerous to visit him in Mindanao when I was a kid - but I do have one faint childhood memory of him:  I remember sitting on his knee and him laughing and smiling.   If only I got to know him more and not just through mom's colourful childhood stories, which still make her teary-eyed.

My enjoyment of dance and performance and sometimes a-bit-too-carefree-attitude definitely comes from him :)  

I should get to bed ... I could think about this and look at pictures for hours, just wondering about which bits and pieces of these amazing people have carried on in me.  

Rest in Peace lolos and lolas, great lolos and great lolas, great-great lolos and great-great lolas ...

Thanks for making me me.

Well Hello Again Makati.

My uncle was kind enough to book us a hotel room with a nice view of Makati:

I had fresh fruits for breakfast (mmm ... mango) and I feel pretty well-rested.  Not feeling jet lagged at all!  It helps that I am comatose on planes.  

Landing in the Manila airport was a better experience than ten years ago.  I was able to refuse help and insist on taking my luggage by myself.  A decade ago I was like a deer in headlights as luggage handlers fought and even punched each other to carry my luggage.  

There was a SUPER SNOTTY woman though.  Not to me, but to the poor customs guy.  She thought she was too good to fill out her customs form (even though the flight attendants on the plane re-iterated numerous times that we had to fill out our customs forms which were handed out to us) and became extremely rude when he told her to fill one out.  She must've thought that as a Filipina with a different passport (she was in the "foreign passport" line up with me) she was entitled to do whatever the hell she wanted.  I saw the form she gave him at the end and it was still only half-assed filled out.  He was nice enough to say "please ma'am fill it out properly next time" and she walked away in a huff with her nose in the air.  This was one of those moments where it would've been nice to bypass the "respect-your-elders" rule. 

I guess she had some warped hierarchy in her head where she was above local Filipinos.  Ugh.  People like that are something else.  I would like to see her try and do that to a Canadian customs officer.

In an hour, one of my cousins will be picking us up to meet with everyone else. The circumstances are tragic, but I am excited to see everyone again and reminisce about Nanay Carmen.  It'll be interesting to see the traffic.  Last night when my uncle and aunt picked us up, the traffic was not too bad at all.  They said it was because everyone was in mourning over Pacquiao's loss to Mayweather.

A Squirt of Happy.

I'm currently at the Seattle airport en route to the Philippines (man, Seattle seems colder than Edmonton right now!).  

While I was still in the security line up at US customs in Edmonton, I had a squishy warm fuzzy happy moment of comfort.  There was a really sweet lady in front of me and she was taking longer than average to open her bag so I started to wonder.  She pulled out a 9 week old golden retriever puppy and I completely melted.  It was a little female named Violet and she curled up right under that lady's chin like a baby.  

I was obviously gushing over little Violet because the lady LET ME HOLD THE FLUFFY GOLDEN BUNDLE OF JOY ADFAD;FKJ;WLDJL;ADSKNVLKADSN  AND IT CURLED UP RIGHT INTO MY NECK LIKE A LITTLE BABY and I melted into smithereens.  

Just imagine this snuggling up under your chin (photo from till.com - I wanted to take a pic of Violet so bad but I'm fairly sure that's a no-no in US customs):

It's almost too much loveable cuteness to handle.  It was the best thing that's ever happened to me in security.  

Again, maybe I'm making something out of nothing but I would like to think that it was Nanay Carmen sending me a moment of comfort via her and my favourite form of four-legged fur baby.

Thanks Nanay :)  I love you too.

R.I.P. Nanay Carmen

While mooching off my parents' Costco membership last weekend, I randomly grabbed a book called The Divinity of Dogs at Costco.  I read it this past week and ended up crying like a baby for pretty much every dog story.  I was surprised at how much I feeling, and just assumed that it was because I adopted my first rescue dog and so am now that much more sensitive to stories of dogs that have been mistreated.

Little did I know that my grandma was in the hospital at that time.  Yesterday morning I found out she was in the ICU.  I thought she would pull through but I still googled flights to the Philppines thinking that I should visit her sometime soon.  She seemed so strong and healthy when I talked to her over the phone just this March (her 93rd birthday).  We laughed about my "Tag-lish."  I told her I wanted to visit her next year (it really hurts to remember how sure and eager I was).

At around 5pm I found out that she passed away from pneumonia complications.  Total devastation.  I quickly left work to go to my parents so I could be there for my dad.  We decided to book flights to the Philippines in order to make the funeral.  My sis would have to stay because of school, but my parents and I were going to go for sure.  Because I already looked at flights earlier, I was able to get it done quickly despite my zombie state.

Later on my mom forwarded an email from my uncle.  Turns out Nanay Carmen was starting to show signs of "wanting to rest."  Most of her close girlfriends were gone except her.  She wasn't eating as much.  And when her dog Peachie (a streetdog she adopted) passed away suddenly, my uncle describes this grief as the "tipping point."  I was back to crying like a baby when I read this part.  Something clicked inside me.

I can't help but feel that I was so affected by that book not only because of the amazing stories of dogs that might have been killed or abandoned but instead go on to save lives, but also because of what was happening half a world away with the beloved matriarch of the Garcia family.  And now my bags are packed and I will be leaving for the airport in less than two hours.  

Rest in Peace, Nanay Carmen.  I miss you.

  

Animals Are Fabulous.

It's amazing how Hachi went from carefree bliss at daycare (photo courtesy of daycare tweet)

to the cone of misery 

in less than a week.  An unfortunate foray into a bushy area in the dog park resulted in a punctured and inflamed paw.  The limp worsened enough to warrant a visit to the vet, who prescribed antibiotics and a cone.  Poor thing.  No doggie daycare this past week.

But he was full of energy and good to go again this weekend.  There was dogpark fun and there was also a doggie play date :)  He has a new female friend!  I can't help but post pics of these two adorable blue heeler crosses.

Amazing resilient beings, dogs.

Another favourite animal of mine is the elephant.  I was thinking about all the cruelty and bullshit animals have to go through and realized that if I ever came across an elephant, I wouldn't want to ride the elephant anymore (like I used to in my childhood).  Instead I would just want to be in his or her presence, admiring such a magnificent and intelligent creature. 

I was watching one of Anthony Bourdain's travelling and eating shows - he was in Northern India and was in a house that was super duper old school English.  It was owned by Englishmen and then by Indian rulers and now the descendants of said rulers.  Things were looking delicious and elegant until the camera focused on an old picture of Englishmen standing proudly in front of an elephant they had just killed.  Please redefine "civilized" vs. "savage," sirs.

Mind Farts

-so much for spring arriving in Edmonton!  there is so much snow!  i won't complain though, just because i prefer snow to mud when walking Hachi.  i think most dog owners do

-oh man ... Padmanadi's general tao chicken has replaced their ginger beef as my new favourite vegan guilty pleasure.  i hope they make it permanent soon (it's currently just a special)

-saw some live bands at the Starlite this weekend.  not my usual type of music and enjoyed pseudo-dancing and people-watching.  mosh pits are a good way to get bruised up (i was just a spectator of course - i would've been annihilated in there!)

-reception venue has now been officially reserved! hotel mac it is (photo from Jennifer Bergman Weddings)

-saw Still Alice.  Julianne Moore was great in it.  Alzheimer's is terrifying :(  

-i actually beeped at someone yesterday (i rarely ever do).  encountering some really bad drivers lately, including the airhead who ran a stop sign and cracked my bumper.  this is what makes me scared to drive a shiny new car

-kudos to CBC for doing interviews with Canadian Muslim women and their opninions on hijabs and niqabs. it's nice to hear their voices and why they choose to or not to wear these traditional pieces of fashion as opposed to blind media coverage

Facing the Big White Fluffy Sparkly Behemoth.

In January I was still a tad overwhelmed with the thought of planning a wedding.  So I put it off.

In February the questions and advice from friends and family kept coming, which made wedding planning thoughts hit me more and more and so I decided to tackle this task by treating it like one of my work projects.  It worked.  I was soothed by emails and lists and spreadsheets and now we have reserved a date for later this year with the reception venue that we both had as the top pick on our lists.  I don't want to jinx anything - final decision date is tomorrow.  I figured that the reception venue would be the toughest availability to nail down and once that task was accomplished, all the other details would fall into place. 

We'll find out soon enough!

Thankfully work is still busy - even with the sketchy oil prices. There is a life lesson they don't teach you in school: a North American wedding costs a lot more than you would initially imagine!  I know, I know - why follow what North American society dictates?  Why not do a destination wedding?  Why not elope?  Save the money instead!   Get a car.  Put it into a down payment on a house!  Initially he wanted traditional and I was daydreaming about a beach somewhere.

But somehow, the traditional local wedding started to grow on me.  Why not pick a venue we both like?  We both have good jobs.  Why not splurge a little more and pick a beautiful place that doesn't need much extra decor and extra work?  Why not pick an easy-to-get-to local spot so that most of our loved ones can make it?  I know white folk love to do roadtrip weddings in the mountains or at a lake, but coloured folk like their cozy hotel ballrooms - where one can drive less than an hour, socialize, drink, eat and dance without having to make a road trip.  Third world folks prefer cozy to rugged.  Third world folks also tend to have huge weddings (hello 400-people-strong guestlists).

And so we compromised.  Traditional and max 250 guests (limited by beautiful venue).  With white people food.

Mind Farts

-watched a friend compete at her ballroom competition.  enjoyed the beauty and polish and flare of the results of hours of dance practice.  but it also made me realize i still relish my relaxed and healing state (ankle still doesn't like high heels).  no rush to get back into dance just yet

-plus, aside from all the wedding stuff, there's still so much to learn at work and yoga!  i can't seem to get away from learning in parallel

-wine gums = crack cocaine

-dairy = kryptonite

-kale chips (vegan sour cream & chive) = healthy crack cocaine

-found a gem of a Sri Lankan restaurant in the southside.  with a ton of vegan options!  never busy at lunch, fast and reasonabley priced.  dosas are magical giant lentil-based crepes that make me happy

-i read articles on India's Daughter, the documentary on the brutal inhuman gang rape and murder of Jyoti Singh, the brave victim who fought back and fought to stay alive for another thirteen days.  i could not believe what the rapists and their *lawyers* were saying about how it was all her fault and how women should "never fight back" and "deserve it" if they are on out at night with a friend.  it makes me so sick - especially since she was a physiotherpy intern and probably knew exactly how much they were ripping her apart internally while the rape was happening.  and how there is absolutely no remorse coming from the murderers or the defense lawyers.  how the hell do these idiots view their mothers ... their sisters ... their daughters ... ?  there is pure evil in this world

-women form part of this madness too.  how about the women who are leaving their cozy educated Canadian lives to go be wives for ISIS?  and the Edmonton woman who recruits them?  SERIOUSLY?  Happy International Women's Day :(

-for the sake of positivity, i need to remind myself what is going right with women around me: 

     -i can take care of and provide for myself, and so can all my girlfriends

     -we choose our partners freely and without need.  just want

     -we were able to get educated without fearing for our lives

     -we run errands, go to work, date and drink without fear of being attacked or gang raped

     -we can read and wear whatever we want to (even if in poor taste)

-Happy International Women's Day - here's to being able to challenge ourselves, win victories and make mistakes freely and safely

Can Hate Unite?

It's hard not to imagine the rest of the world boiling with as much anger and disgust as I feel when I read and hear about all the IS (or whatever the hell acronym they decided on) atrocities swirling around in the media.  

They beheaded innocent kidnapped Japanese men, one of whom was an exceptionally compassionate and courageous journalist.  Most people would not leave the safety and warmth of home and family to look for a captured friend and investigate a horrific war zone.  Even his past war stories focused on the human casualties of war, especially children.  It's almost like he was just too ahead of his time ... too good and too true for what was going on around him.  He even used his own money to do his reporting.

Then came the unimaginable burning of a Jordanian man who wasn't even 30 yet.  Burned alive in a cage. I try to imagine this happening to a loved one and the thought is crippling.  I cannot even begin to wonder how his parents and siblings feel.  

And still more abductions, more deaths ...

Such instant rage when I think of this.  How can you not want revenge?  To hurt and disfigure these shitheads a million times more than what they've already done to innocents ...  No wonder they've now got all kinds of people wanting them gone ... way to piss off all the nations of the world.

I try to focus on one of the recent quotes circulating from the online archives of the murdered Japanese journalist himself:

"Hate is not for humans. That is what I learned from my Arabic brothers and sisters."

-Kenji Goto

But I'm still pissed.  And I admittedly take some satisfaction in heads of state setting aside their differences and putting their heads together to fight.  Haters unite!  (For now.)

Mind Farts

-until the suicides started being covered in the news recently, I had no idea how high the rates were for first responders!  paramedics and cops and firefighters are the ones we depend on to save our lives but who is going to save theirs? :(  

-ok happy thoughts ... i went to the waterpark recently and it was like being a kid again. i actually haven't gone since i was a kid.  going on waterslides is a little different as an adult and i'm still too chicken to go on the crazy ones with the crazy drops.  my favourite part was being in a tube in the wavepool and ramming into random people without fault.  close second: when everyone squeals at the wave horn!

-the smell of chlorine induces ketchup cravings in me.  it stems from my childhood days of swimming lessons and being ravenous afterwards, which led to the buying of ketchup chips from the vending machine.  i can still remember my pruney pool fingers turning red with ketchup seasoning :)

-more happy thoughts ...  Hachi's latest development: he is obsessed with chasing after the ball (he used to stare blankly at balls being thrown)!  now we just need to figure out how to get him to bring it back directly (on a good day he will drop the ball ahead in your path)

-post-daycare Hachi:

R.I.P. Papa Rudy.

My mom's oldest sister just lost her husband.  I met him only a few times because they are in the Philippines, but I feel like I know him because of the stories my mom has been telling me since I was a child.

Papa Rudy was a kind, gentle man. An artist. I remember seeing his work back in 2004 when I was last in the Philippines.  He would blurt out an English word every now and then and giggle at the usage.  Then we would all egg him on to try more words :)

This is one of those times I wish the world was a little smaller. I hate that I can't even make my uncle's funeral because it is half a world away.   

Rest in peace Papa Rudy.  I hope you didn't suffer and that you knew you were greatly loved and would be greatly missed.  

The Good Push.

Generally I'm not a big fan of being overbearing and pushy.  Sometimes though, one can benefit from a push or two.  Starting off last week with food poisoning was tough, and I was planning to just rest it up for the remainder of the week/weekend, catch up on work and not go on the office ski trip. Fortunately, a couple of my coworkers were aggressive enough to make sure I got a snowboard rental before 8pm closing time on Thursday night and I was lured into the ski trip with promises of feeding bison breakfast at a farm on the way (when else would I ever get to do that?) and resting my food poisoning away on the drive to the mountains.

So I got to hang with bison before sunrise.  BIG AND FLUFFY BISON!

I also got to improve my snowboarding (I haven't been on a board in ages!) while looking at this:

Beautiful majestic Rockies!

Proud accomplishments of a beginner boarder:

-getting off chairlifts a few times without having to do the roll of shame

-actually executing some (very sloppy) carving (on very gentle slopes)

And THEN I was pushed into going to the Banff hot springs. I never EVER thought I would get in a swimsuit and sit in a pool outdoors during the winter.  It turned out out to be fabulous and I even enjoyed the fluffy snowflakes landing on my face while my sore bottom half was immersed in deliciously warm steamy water. 

So I survived and I admit that my coworkers were right after all.  I'm now food poisoning free and back to working overtime. This week I was delighted to get a big award at work :) Yay for recognition!  I already spent some of it at Lululemon ;)

Ahh, the rewards of pushing yourself (or being good-naturedly pushed) beyond your comfort zone. Stay uncomfortable, folks!

Never Again (a.k.a. Vegans Vomit Too).

I just spent most of the night alternating between vomiting and curling up on my bathroom floor. And now I am in bed instead of being productive at the office.

Thanks a lot, kombucha.

Ohhh you seemed so harmless - good for me, even.  I remember when we first met at a farmers market in Hawaii.  The long haired surf bum that brewed you himself served me a delicious tart slightly fizzy cup of you.  There was sunshine, a rainbow of fruits and veggies ... and you.

I've bought you several times since then, always in attractive shiny bottles that gleamed with healthful promise.  The bacteria is good for you, the labels said.  

Sure, yesterday's bottle seemed a bit bitter towards the end of the workday, but little did I know that the apocalypse would visit my guts that evening.

Lesson learned.  Next time I want the benefits of fermentation I'll just have some sauerkraut or wine.

Silver lining? I just finished reading Chocolat.  It was on TV over the holidays and I'd forgotten how delicious the story is and how I've been meaning to read the actual novel.  So I borrowed an eBook from good ol' EPL with the Overdrive app.  Maybe not the best thing to read while food-poisoned,  but still enjoyable nonetheless.  A small town in France, a wanderer who sets up a chocolaterie, gypsies and small town prejudices, small town kindnesses, chocolate and more chocolate! 

Mind Farts
-I was complaining earlier about how the level of empathy still needs to catch up with technology in this world. Turns out there are uses for the empathy-challenged.  Just read an article on how certain folks like CEOs and surgeons and lawyers can do very well if they have a certain degree of ruthlessness
-level 2 yoga is HARD! Just like when my Cuban dance instructor started throwing ballet training in the mix, I quickly realize that so many endeavors are way harder than they look. It's tricky because dancers and yogis make it look so graceful and effortless - but that's where the 'art' part comes in now doesn't it?
-but not vomiting. Vomiting feels as horrible as it looks. Unless maybe there are bulimics out there that have mastered it. While violently retching, I did wonder briefly: how do bulimics do this in public spaces?  But self-induced vomit is not the same as bacteria attacking your insides. Yikes, enough vomit talk
-sometimes while checking drawings I will stream some BBC radio. There was a documentary on a really amazing badass woman: Noor Inayat Khan.  British secret agent of Indian descent.  She was a musician and a dreamer but also became an expert wireless operator during WWII. She was a pretty and tiny little thing but she was dangerous enough to be betrayed and then captured by the Germans, where she was tortured for months (almost a year), then raped, beaten and shot in the head in Dachau. Despite everything she still refused to give up info. She was only 30.